Hot Gift Alert: This Giant, Novelty ‘Pencil Sharpener’ Cucumber Peeler

Are you still pressed in a desperate attempt to find holiday gifts that don’t suck? Welcome. This is a safe place to talk about your present-related pitfalls; it’s  where your shopping-obsessed VICE editors have been sniffing out the best deals and launches, from the big-ticket items to ones that cost less than the typical Erewhon smoothie. On that note, I want to introduce you to a gift idea that costs less than my morning coffee and orange zest olive cake combo. It’s the perfect gift for food-lovers, your White Elephant party guests, skincare buffs, or just anyone in need of a serotonin boost. Indeed, this vegetable peeler shaped liked a giant pencil sharpener is so stupid that it’s actually kind of genius: 

I discovered the giant peeler through a friend, who was served an ad for it on Instagram at 1 a.m. (isn’t that always how it goes?), and was immediately hooked on the gimmick. When they shared it with me, I was immediately transported back to the glory days of oversized giant novelty decor. But this was no mere novelty; the peeler promised to produce some regal-ass cucumber curls for both garnishing salads and serving as a face mask (the packaging literally shows a woman with cucumber curls on her face). Of course, as with all novelty items, sometimes you get a dud—so I added it to my Amazon cart, and gave it a test run to see if my instincts were correct. Here are  the good, the boring, and, as Les Blank would say, the “yum yum yum” specs for the veggie peeler.  

Firstly, we need to talk about the price-to-wow-factor ratio with this thing. For less than $10, you can get a novelty kitchen tool/holiday gift that isn’t boring and won’t be a pain to schlep to your White Elephant party. Plus, if the pink colorway isn’t your vibe, I also found an orange-colored peeler (that also has a potato peeler at its base) with plenty of high ratings on Amazon. As one happy customer writes, “I originally purchased it as a fun novelty [item] to have in the kitchen, but I have found myself using it often. It’s easy to use and easy to clean and it stores away nicely.”

I had no idea that there was going to be a mirror on the back of the peeler, which is supposed to come in handy if you plan on using the peeler for face masks:

It took a few vegetable casualties for me to get my cucumber curls just right, but I learned to make sure that the cucumber was angled upwards to sit directly against the blade:

Once I got the hang of things, I curled some extra long boys for a face mask. After about five minutes, I found that it left my skin feeling soothed, and it made me look like the hot fish dude from The Shape of Water, which was tight: 

I even got my arm in on the fun: 

At first, I made the mistake of buying big-ass cucumbers and carrots that didn’t fit in the peeler. Make sure you find those more modestly sized Persian cucumbers, or any other veg (carrots, Japanese turnips) that will slip into your peeler with ease. 

You probably didn’t know that you would fall in love with this dumb vegetable peeler today, right? Luckily, the novelty peeler both looks cool and actually works. If you’re still on the hunt for a gift that doesn’t cost much and will still arrive in time for Christmas, the jumbo pencil-sharpener-turned-veggie-peeler is a great option.   

Buy the pencil sharpener vegetable peeler at Amazon. 

The Rec Room staff independently selected all of the stuff featured in this story. Want more reviews, recommendations, and red-hot deals? Sign up for our newsletter.